I did not know until today that there is an actual term for the situation that i am currently stuck in. I recently graduated from university and i feel lost. I don't know what to do, where to go, just in general what to do with my life and I am questioning myself and every decision that i made in the past. While researching I stumbled across the term "quarterlife crisis" which just perfectly describes my situation. Everyone has heard of a midlife crisis but have you ever heard of a quarterlife crisis? I haven't so for people who do not know, according to dictionary.com a quarterlife crisis is defined as "a crisis that may be experienced in one's twenties, involving anxiety over the direction and quality of one's life" or "an emotional crisis in one's twenties with anxiety and self-doubt after leaving academic life".

It's like I am 18 again. Finally free, finished with school but with no idea on what to do. Back then I felt like everyone had plans, everyone knew what to study, knew where to move to, knew what they wanted to do with their life. And me? I settled for Business Administration because I thought that would be safe. Before I even started going to uni I remember how I cried in front of my parents because I already knew from the beginning that this was not what I wanted to do. Not the best way to start a new chapter right? But I still tried my best and did not give up and now I finally got my degree. 

While other people are now busy continuing with a masters degree or applying for jobs or travelling the world - I am sitting here and just feel lost. I do not want to apply for any job. I do not feel like I want to work from Monday until Friday from 8 am to 5 pm in a company, sitting on my desk and doing work for other people. I do not feel like this is what my life is supposed to be. 

Don't get me wrong. I do not regret studying Business Administration because I still learned a lot. I learned how to study on my own and how to work with academic sources. I learned to never give up and to work under deadlines. And some subjects were actually quite interesting and fun and I met a few nice people during my studies.

What I realized though was that I completely lost my creativity during my university studies. I used to draw and paint a lot but now I feel like I can't even draw a proper face. So right now, while I still do not know which direction to go, I want to work on my art. I want to focus on drawing, painting, photography, in general on being creative again. And hopefully i will soon figure out what to do with my life.